Your love makes me sing

"Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, your love makes me sing
You save me, forgave me, you received me. Your love makes me sing"

I smile because I am just amazed by God's love. Here I am standing among women from all corners of the earth in a small conference room in the mountains of France. Just a little over a week ago, I was standing among friends at Salem Chapel. Women from different places, yet we share a common bond-a passion for Christ that transpires culture, distance and language. As I look around the room and remember my friends from home, I feel so grateful that I can experience God's grace in such a tangible way.



Last Friday, I headed up to the mountain top for a 24-hour retreat with the women from CrossRoads Church. I knew none of the women, but by the end of my time there, I felt like I had known them for years. Acceptance without judgment or strings attached is truly a gift that is sometimes difficult to receive. It did not matter that I had just arrived in France or that I would be leaving in a few weeks, I was openly welcomed to be part of the group's present journey.

Our speaker for the retreat was Barbara Mott Willoughby and the basic theme of the weekend was "Overcoming Adversity." Even though I have spent hundreds of hours listening to women's stories, I continue to be saddened by the common themes of hurt, disappointment and disillusionment that women face during their lives. Broken marriages, family turmoil, physical and mental difficulties, single parenting, feelings of hopelessness and lack of direction...no woman, regardless of culture, social or economic status or educational level is immune. But this weekend, I felt hopeful. Stories of victory were shared... stories of how these women survived, how they prevailed, and how God's tender love was intertwined throughout their times of struggle.


One of the most unexpected blessings of the retreat was on Saturday when we were asked to write down practical advice on how to deal with a certain area of struggle (relationships at home, relationships in the workplace, direction in life, struggles with physical/mental problems)and share the advice with the group.


At the present time, the area where I am seeking discernment is concerning my life direction. One of the women posted this scripture on the board:

"This is what the Lord says,
Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths, ask where
the good way is and walk in it, and
you will find rest for your souls" -Jeremiah 6:16

Stand at the crossroads and ask. I believe this was confirmation for me to continue on this journey of seeking...you will find rest for your souls...Rest for your souls. I have a hard time resting and a more difficult time releasing the reins of my life to God. I have a hard time with this because I feel like I need to know what is going to happen next. I have to figure out the next step so I won't be caught off guard. I think that being in control makes me feel safe, but does it really?

I came to Europe to seek, but I also came because I needed to rest. Not just sleep, but to take a rest from from striving, from trying to achieve the next rung on the ladder. I believe this scripture was a reminder from God to let go. As my parents always say to me, "Let Go, Let God. Just trust." Ok. I don't have to have all of the answers now. They will all come in time.













We were offered many opportunities to minister to each other during our time together. I am thankful for those who ministered to me even though they probably did not realize that they did: Mary from Uganda gave me nuggets of wisdom beyond her 24 years, Patricia from the UK used her British humor to make me laugh until my stomach hurt, Donna from the USA inspired me to remember the motivation for servanthood, Eve reminded me of the depths of the Spirit, and Paula from St. Lucia challenged me to keep prevailing as a navigate this season of my life. I may never see these women again after I leave this place, but they impacted me in a way I did not expect. I hope they can say the same about me.